Return to Radiance with Danielle Venables

104. You're Not Failing, You're Human: Navigating Imperfection While Leading Others

• Danielle Venables • Episode 104

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Have you ever worked so hard on healing a pattern only to find yourself right back in it? That moment of realization can bring crushing guilt—especially when you're in a leadership or healing role yourself. You know better, so why are you here again?

The truth is that none of us are immune to our patterns. Even with all the consciousness work, therapy, and personal development in the world, we remain beautifully human. And humans have patterns. What truly matters isn't how perfectly we avoid them, but rather how gracefully we recognize and redirect when we find ourselves caught in the familiar current.

In this candid episode, I share my recent experience slipping back into workaholic tendencies despite knowing better. I talk about how my genuine passion for a new business opportunity transformed into hyper-fixation, leading me to neglect self-care and flirt with burnout—even while being completely aligned with work I love. This contradicts the common coaching narrative that alignment prevents burnout, which simply isn't true for many of us.

You'll learn practical strategies for course correction without self-punishment, including how changing your inner dialogue from "I can't" to "I'm choosing not to today" can transform your relationship with boundaries. I discuss the importance of recognizing your personal burnout signals, setting empowered boundaries with yourself, and embracing the power of conscious choice when you notice yourself veering off track.

Whether you're healing, growing, leading others, or all of the above, this episode invites you to extend yourself the same compassion you offer others. Because there's no medal for perfection, but there's massive power in the return to alignment. Where might you need to offer yourself grace today?


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Speaker 1:

This episode is for the woman who's doing the work, healing, growing, leading, but still finding herself falling into old patterns. And if this is you and you have worked on yourself, you've healed through things, youachieving or working yourself to the point of burnout or self-abandoning for your kids or your family I just want you to know, first and foremost, that you are not alone and also that you don't need to beat yourself up for it. I am coming on today because this is a topic that is alive for me in this very moment, and while a lot of leaders will go through, navigate whatever they're going through and then share about it afterwards and share the nuggets after the fact and, you know, not show up in their imperfection or even admit that they were imperfect they'll just take the lessons and teach those and move on. Right? I'm coming in to be really candid with you, to be really honest with you about the areas that I have slipped into old patterns this past week, right? So I'm not talking about last month, I'm not talking about last year. I'm talking about here in this moment, catching myself in a pattern, interrupting it, choosing to consciously shift it, and you know how I regroup and move on. And so, to give a little bit more context.

Speaker 1:

As many of you know, I have been super hyped about this sovereign wealth, passive residual income opportunity. It has been one of those things that has lit me up and made me come online in a way online physically, but also just like online, like my energy coming online in such a strong way that then the obsession takes over. Then the it's not even I don't even want to call it a drive, because it's more than a drive right, it's like this hyper fixation which you know, walking around with undiagnosed ADHD. That's highly possible that it was a hyper fixation as well, or that it is a hyper fixation, um, but you know, it's one of those things where I got so lit up, I got so excited about it, that I just couldn't get enough of it. It was one of those things where it I don't want to say it consumed me, but it consumed a lot of my thoughts and my time and my energy and I was looking at, between you know, different trainings and different guests that I want to bring in to support my people, and you know branding and visuals and recording podcast episodes about it. It was like I was waking up in the morning thinking about sovereign wealth and I was going to bed at night thinking about sovereign wealth, and I'm not sorry for it, I don't regret it, I stand by that. I love, love, love sovereign wealth, what it stands for, what it has available to the people in my community, to my friends, to my family, to my clients.

Speaker 1:

But the issue is where, all of a sudden, it's like this obsession takes over and then I found myself neglecting other things, right, neglecting my self care, neglecting to take time away from my computer to move my body to, um, even remember to eat some days which I don't, I'm going to be honest with you, days which I don't, I'm going to be honest with you, I don't love even admitting that on camera, um, for the world to see, to open up to judgment, and things like that. There's still a part of me that's like why would you even, why would you even say the quiet part out loud, um? But I need you to know that, whether it's this vice or whether it's something else, we all have our stuff that we do, we all have ways that we show up imperfect, that we have to catch ourselves, that we, um, you know, have to pick ourselves back up and course correct. And what I want to say is like to treat yourself with compassion and honesty if you are falling into a pattern like that, but also that it's never about falling off track or being off track right. And it's not even about misalignment, because some people especially in the coaching space and stuff they say, oh, like, if you're aligned, like you can't get burnt out. It's impossible. And I'm here to say that I'm wildly aligned and I love what I do and I love what I'm sharing and I stand behind it a hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

And I was starting to feel a little bit of low grade burnout over the last probably 24 hours. So it's not that you're off track, it's not that you're out of alignment, it's not that you're doing anything wrong, but it is about picking up those cues and noticing those hints and being able to be receptive to that and course correct Right. So this morning I set a hard boundary with myself of I only have until lunchtime and then I'm taking the rest of the day off. So, whatever, I need to wrap up for the end of my week because of the day off. So, whatever, I need to wrap up for the end of my week because it is Friday today. So, whatever, I need to wrap up for the end of my week, I'm going to do that, and then I'm I'm unplugging, I'm off my computer, I'm not checking Facebook for anything business related. I am not posting, I am not creating content, I'm not scheduling content, I am completely unplugging. I'm not even and this is another boundary I've had to set with myself over the years I'm not even reading the books or doing the personal development, or listening to the podcast. It's like I need to shut it all down.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to go outside. I'm going to spend time with my chickens and my horses. I'm going to spend time with my kids. I'm going to, um, you know, read a book for pleasure, which I haven't done in a while. Um, part of my brain is still like, yeah, cause it's a waste of time, um, but you know it's. It's forcing yourself to come back into things outside of your business or things outside of whatever. Whatever, you're hyper fixating on Um, if you're in a position similar to mine, um, so that's what I'm going to do, right, I'm going to move my body. I'm going to spend time outside. I'm going to and it's not that I wasn't doing those things, but the whole time I was doing them. I was thinking about the stuff I still had to do at my desk, and that's where that course correction comes in, right. So I'm setting a hard boundary. That's why I let myself work this morning, so that I could get done the things that I felt needed to be done, the things that felt pressing. So I let myself do that and now I can say, nope, enough's enough, I'll pick up next week. And so that is my invitation to you.

Speaker 1:

If you are in a pattern, it's like it's not even about forbidding yourself from that pattern or from being obsessed about what you're obsessed about or from doing the things that you want to do. It's just about setting those boundaries and being really aware and really conscious and coming back to center and coming back to a little bit more balance when it comes to engaging in those things. It's no different than, like if you struggle with binge eating, right, and you know this is kind of alive for me too coming off of carnivore diet recently Um, I haven't talked about that on the podcast, but if you're interested, you can go to my Facebook page and find the live video that I recorded about this. Um, but you know, I was on a carnivore diet reset and you know I would have the odd little craving and stuff and I would just tell myself, no, I'm not doing it. But the way that I would tell myself I'm not doing it wasn't you can't, you're not allowed, it's forbidden. I was telling myself, no, I'm choosing not to today. And that's where we take our power back over our patterns, over our compulsions, over the things that, um, maybe unconsciously, we want to do. It's by choosing differently. And so even that inner narrative, right, um, will impact the way that you make those decisions. Now, I ultimately came off of carnivore because my son still was needing breast milk and my supply was dropping and, um, that just wasn't a right fit for me in this moment. Um, again, if you want more on that, just go connect with me over on Facebook and check out my live video that I did there. But, um, the way that we talk to ourselves, right Like I could have acknowledged my burnout last night, which I did, and said, okay, no, you're not allowed to work tomorrow, and then I would have spent all morning stewing and pacing and thinking, oh, I need to get this done and I need to get that done, and I really just want to wrap this up, and you know now it has to drag into next week and that doesn't feel good.

Speaker 1:

And you know I could have done that. I could have said nope, you're on the verge of burnout, you can't do anymore, you need to stop. But instead I made a conscious decision, an empowered decision of here's what I'm going to do, here's my boundary. And once I've completed those things, then I am choosing to shut off, I'm choosing to walk away from my laptop, I'm choosing to move on with my day, move on with my weekend and forcing myself to do things that you know I still. There's a part of me that would rather be in front of my laptop, continuing to work at this, because that's how much I believe in it, but it's choosing to do differently, and that's where you bring your power back.

Speaker 1:

Um, so, yeah, I find for me, like my, my signals or my signs that it's time to course correct, that I'm falling back into the workaholic pattern, is pretty telltale. Like I will spend hours a day, I find, when I start to, you know, look at the clock and be like, oh my gosh, it's already after lunch. Like I thought it was 10 am and be like, oh my gosh, it's already after lunch, like I thought it was 10 am. That's where I start to notice that, okay, no, you've been just really sucked in, really consumed in your work, really like hyper fixated. That's where I start to course correct, everybody's cues are going to be different, but those small cues, those small signs, and then what you decide to do with them, is really going to be what's going to allow you to move through that pattern in a way that empowers you. On a side note, I've got some of my Oracle cards printed out in the background now and I'm really excited about it. So if you haven't pre-ordered that, go to the show notes and, um, grab your copy of the seeds of light Oracle. Shameless plug there. But, um, yeah, like, really what it is is.

Speaker 1:

It's not about being perfect, and when we're conscious I feel like there's such a pressure of like, oh, I'm in this pattern again and I should know better. And you know I've been working on this for years and you know I've been working on this for years and you know why do I still do this, or or whatever, right, and it's so easy to start to be like I should have picked it up sooner, or I should have known better, or I shouldn't be feeling burnt out, because you know I talk about parents being present in their kids' lives and not burning out. And you know like, there's all of these inner narratives where we can pick ourselves apart because we're self-aware, but at the end of the day, that doesn't serve anybody either. Ultimately, we are all human. We are all subject to our patterns and the ways that our brains are wired, and as much healing as we do and as much as we can become aware, the power really lies in those micro decisions that we're making throughout the day, when we're catching ourselves in those patterns, as opposed to being hard on ourselves for ending up in that pattern again. Right, you know there's no badge for perfection, but there is massive power in returning, in returning to what's in alignment, in returning to who you want to be, how you want to show up, the ways that you want to be present in your life. That's where the power lies. It's not nobody's handing out prizes or medals for being perfect.

Speaker 1:

So I just want to invite you, at the end of this episode, to reflect on like, where might you be expecting perfection of yourself right now? Right, like, where are you expecting that? Where are you being hard on yourself unnecessarily for being less than perfect, for having a human moment, for being subject to a pattern? And what would grace look like instead, you know, if you could extend yourself some grace, some compassion, some understanding, and instead just make an empowered decision in this moment, right now, to not beat yourself up, but to move forward in a new way. What would that look like? And that's what I'm going to leave you with for this week's episode.

Speaker 1:

If it landed, for you, find me over on social media, tell me where you're course correcting and what landed. And if you want to explore sovereign wealth, I still stand behind it, 1000%. I still see it as the path forward to freedom that every entrepreneur should be moving towards and having a look at um, because it is just such an incredible business model that can support what you've already got going on in your life, um. But yeah, if you want to be present and profitable, send me a message for private mentorship. If you want to join sovereign wealth, dm me the word sovereign and I will catch you in the next episode. Bye for now.