Return to Radiance with Danielle Venables

092. Navigating Ethics and Relationships in Psychic Mediumship with Becky Dotson

• Danielle Venables • Episode 92

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Have you ever wondered how personal trauma can shape one's psychic abilities? Join us as we sit down with the compassionate and ethical psychic medium, Becky Dotson, who shares her remarkable journey of embracing her gifts. From experiencing supernatural phenomena as a child to the pivotal moment a difficult breakup revealed her true potential, Becky's story is one of resilience, mentorship, and transformation. Together, we uncover how she bridges the spiritual and physical realms to offer healing and insights, demystifying the differences between psychic intuition and mediumship along the way.

Navigating the world of psychic readings can be daunting, especially when faced with unethical practices. Our conversation with Becky emphasizes the necessity of integrity and confidence in delivering readings, particularly when clients are vulnerable and seeking guidance. We delve into the importance of personal recommendations and trusting one's intuition when choosing a practitioner, while also warning against red flags like exorbitant fees and exploitative services. Becky shares how ethical readings empower clients to face uncomfortable truths and inspire them towards personal growth without manipulation or deceit.

Relationships and spiritual guidance often intertwine, and this episode explores how psychic readings can facilitate healing and transformation. We discuss the vital role of free will in relationships, encouraging listeners to focus on desired qualities rather than specific people to allow the universe to guide them towards healthy connections. Becky's insights into soulmates and karmic relationships remind us of the lessons some connections hold for personal growth. From recognizing toxic behaviors to trusting the universe's guidance, this episode offers hope and liberation for those seeking to heal and thrive after challenging relationships.

In this episode, we go deep into the world of psychic-mediumship
• Confronting misconceptions around psychics and mediums
• The importance of ethical standards and discernment
• Personal journeys into mediumship and development
• Sharing transformative stories of clients
• Understanding the impact of free will on relationships
• Encouragement of self-empowerment through psychic work

Find Becky on Instagram @dogmom_medium or check out her website dogmommedium.com

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Return to Radiance, the podcast with one core purpose to remind you of your innate power and essence. I'm your host, danielle Venables, an Akashic guide and soul coach, here to activate, heal and empower the new wave of soulful CEOs to become radically aligned and unapologetic. In these episodes, we will be diving into all things mystic, soul level transformation, the new paradigm of leadership, business, energetics, awakening, healing and more, as well as holding potent conversations around connecting deeply to your personal power and owning your truth. If you are here for it all, be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. While I'm confident the discussions in this podcast have the power to change your life, these episodes are for information only and are in no way a substitute for individual medical, legal or mental health advice.

Speaker 2:

Hello and welcome to the Return to Radiance podcast. I am so excited to be bringing you today's conversation. We are going to be diving into the topic of psychic and mediumship and going through sort of demystifying what are psychics, what are mediums, what's the difference, as well as how to use your discernment when choosing to work with a psychic or a medium. We go through the integrity and ethics of being a psychic medium. And today's guest her name is Becky and we are going to be just diving into all things.

Speaker 2:

So, if you don't know Becky Dotson, she is a compassionate and gifted psychic medium and, with the help of her dog, ollie, she serves as a bridge between the spiritual and physical realms, providing guidance, healing and connection. With five years of experience honing her intuitive abilities, she offers insightful readings, channeling messages from loved ones, spirits and the universe. Her mission is to empower individuals on their life journeys, fostering self-discovery, comfort and transformation. She is really the embodiment of an ethical psychic and medium, and we just had such a great conversation, so, without further ado, let's dive in. Welcome to the Return to Radiance podcast. I'm so excited to have you. Why don't you start off by just giving us a little bit about who you are what you do and a little bit about how you got here.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely so. I am a psychic medium. I have been practicing formally for about almost three years now, but I have been working on my gifts since 2019. So a little bit of background and like how I got here. I grew up pretty normal childhood and I feel like, looking back, I could see where I was getting psychic or mediumship information. I just kind of didn't know where it was kind of coming from, right, and I didn't really have anyone back then to explain to me what was happening and why I was getting certain information I was getting. And now that like fast forward, it all kind of makes sense.

Speaker 3:

But a little bit about my journey. My parents divorced when I was seven and so my dad remarried an alcoholic. So I had some you know some trauma which I feel like all spiritual women, especially who go into this line of work, typically have some sort of bigger T trauma that they have dealt with, and I didn't really deal with a lot of the things that happened to me in childhood and that kind of transpired into a, luckily for me, I became like more of a people pleaser and high achiever and overachiever and I was like, oh, you have to like earn and achieve to earn love, and so I kind of put my spiritual gifts on the back burner and I was all about more so being in the muggle world and using logic and science and reason to kind of navigate my life. And I went through this really traumatic breakup in 2019. And I could not get off my couch.

Speaker 3:

I later found out this person was very narcissistic. I was depressed, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and my roommate at the time had told me about her life coach. That was a psychic medium and, hey, you should go see her. And I thought, well, I'll do anything to feel better, right? So I went to her and, long story short, she basically told me that I also had psychic gifts which, you know, I could kind of see. And she sent me on this whole like self-care, self-love journey, this whole spiritual journey, and I started dabbling with tarot cards because I just thought they were so pretty and so cool and I started reading for friends, just like kind of on the down low and like the psychic medium closet, because I didn't want people to think I was weird.

Speaker 3:

Or you know, she's been this person her whole life and now she's saying she can, you know, see the future and all that stuff, and so things actually just started coming true and more and more people were getting referred to me and actually I lost a friend very tragically and they came to me and I was able to kind of communicate with them and he said, hey, you know, you can do this. And coincidentally a week later I had a reading with my coworkers and their past loved ones started coming through. So that's when I kind of realized like I could also be, have the bridge to people's past loved ones, because the reality is everyone's psychic and can get psychic information and they can also communicate with their specific loved ones. But not everyone's a medium and can get that channeled guidance from others. And I started mentoring, I started doing a bunch of free readings and really developing my skills and now I've been formally doing it for about like two to three years now.

Speaker 2:

Awesome, and just for anyone listening. I mean, it's kind of when you're really immersed in the spiritual world. I think most people understand, but can you distinguish between a psychic and a medium? Just for anyone who's unsure.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so a psychic? So well, psychic information just comes through of like, premonitions, intuition, your higher self, a gut feeling and inner knowing. Sometimes people have dream visions like to me. That's all psychic information. You know, you see a baby coming, you see you feel like a relationship just isn't right, something's off with that person. Versus medium information mediums can connect with that person. Versus medium information Mediums can connect with people who have crossed over, and not everyone has that bridge where they can speak to others, loved ones. So like, for example, I'll have a father figure come through like they'll tell me how they died. They will talk about, maybe current things that are happening in the family. Talk about, maybe current things that are happening in the family. They'll give me what we call evidential information just to validate who is coming through and that they're safe and at peace on the other side.

Speaker 2:

Oh, wow, that's really cool. And so you discovered that through that last part of your evolution.

Speaker 3:

then, hey, with the friend yeah, yeah, I was doing a reading for my co-workers and it was just funny. I was pulling tarot and I don't use tarot anymore, but some people are really good with it. I just use it as a kickstart, basically, but it's it wasn't my calling to keep using it, but I I kept getting like people's past loved ones would come and they're like my name is john, I died of a heart attack and, trust me, it wasn't that specific, but I, you know, I got there. So I was like, okay, I guess I can do this.

Speaker 3:

And what happens was spirit and my spirit guides kept validating that I could do this by sending me people who have lost loved ones. And you know, I kept getting more and more validation, like through the readings I was doing, and that's why I was doing a lot of them for free, because I was practicing my skills and I let that be known, because and I'm sure we'll talk a little bit more about this but I think there's a burden of responsibility that comes with this work and I wanted to make sure that what I was getting was actually valid and accurate, because you don't want to do more damage to people oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Especially, working with such a sensitive topic, right, like when we're dealing with loss in the physical realm, it's really hard for the people who get left behind, right. So it's definitely something that you want to. I mean, even even psychics, I mean ethics plays a huge, a huge part in how you approach it and what what you do or don't claim to be able to access or disclose or you know, those kinds of things, um, which I guess brings us into a perfect segue into sort of the topic of today, or one of the topics of today, which is the discernment or the ability to decide, you know, who is somebody worth going to, who is just, you know, posturing themselves as something that could cause harm. Where do you stand on that in terms of you know, okay, you know you want to find a psychic or find a medium, and what would your next step be?

Speaker 3:

Great question. I feel you should always ask for a recommendation from somebody and if you're not comfortable or you don't know anyone that's gotten a reading, maybe look at there's some really good spiritual Facebook groups in different areas of the country. I would really advise like 98% of my clients are referral and. But I also want to say if you're going to a psychic and medium, you might have a bad experience and that's just kind of the risk of going to a psychic medium. Now most of my experiences have been really good and they've all been through recommendations and they're ones I that weren't so good is ones that I didn't get through recommendations. But even the ones that weren't so good is ones that I didn't get through recommendations. But even the ones that weren't good doesn't necessarily mean that that person isn't great or gifted or skilled. It just could be that you're not a right fit for that person. Or I have gotten information from psychics that later did become true, but I just wasn't ready to hear the advice or the guidance in the moment did become true, but I just wasn't ready to hear the advice or the guidance in the moment. So I always tell my clients take the best, leave the rest. Something doesn't resonate or you don't like it, leave it and you can kind of use your and like, set that expectation up before going into a reading. Some readings are great and they knock you out of the park and then some myth. And then there's others where you know you're like I never going to go back to. That person does not resonate with me Yucky energy which I've definitely had experienced before, because typically people that seek out psychics or mediums are in a very vulnerable place.

Speaker 3:

People that seek out psychics or mediums are in a very vulnerable place. They're either grieving something like not just the loss of a loved one, it could be a breakup, it could be a job loss, it could be something very traumatic going on in your life and I have come across readers who will try to manipulate that. Oh, I see you've lost your job recently and it's because you have this dark cloud of energy around you and if you pay me $1,000, I can clear it. Run. Do not pay them $1,000. Do not pay them a penny more. Like that is so unethical and that does happen more than you think, and so like it is definitely a passion of mine to educate people on like what's real, what's not real, what we can't do. What we can do and like how to spot an unethical psychic or medium yeah, and you touched on some really key points there.

Speaker 2:

Um, you know a lot of people, you know there's some of us that are already in the spiritual world and we just get readings. You know, I got a year ahead reading from one of my friends just to see what energies I was playing with in 2025 and things like that. But, um, yeah, a lot of times, people who are new to the work, right, are like they're not going out and getting it just for entertainment or just for fun, right, like it is oftentimes a rock bottom or a really difficult situation, and those situations are ones where people would do anything to fix it. So it is easy to fall into that predatory nature like you were touching on there. Um, and so you, you went into some of the, the red flags once you're in a reading. Are there ways to spot those before getting into it?

Speaker 3:

yeah, like I said, we're all psychic, so use your intuition. I was chatting with a certain psychic and I was just like I got this icky, yucky feeling and I just said no, so I want to always trust yourself, even over me, is what I'll tell people. Always trust yourself first, so if something feels off or feels funky to you, don't do it. The other thing I would say and I do have some friends that will do readings via text or just they'll do a three card poll and like write you a paragraph and they're excellent, ethical readers. However, I would caution any body who does a reading and emails it to you or you're going text back and forth only, because I have found that a lot of times like the information is very muddy and again, they could take up time to look up things, and I'm not saying that they're doing that. So if you got a rating that was great and they said things they couldn't great, take it as yours, but to me that doesn't make me feel good, I don't know why.

Speaker 3:

And then the other thing is a pay by minute psychics and there is no shame. I have been through breakups. I'm like crying and you know you just go on to one of those pay by the minute ones, and again, it's not like you won't find some really good, but you're looking for a diamond in the rough, and also like their job is to keep making money, so they'll try to give you more and more and get you to stay, and oh, wait, come back. Wait, come back. I have one more message for you, and a lot of times they'll just tell you what you want to hear, especially if you're going for a breakup. Yeah, he misses you, yeah, he'll come back, but is that information really helpful to a client? Probably not Right, and so those are just some of the things I would say to look at before you do a reading.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that. Definitely some tangible things. I think, yeah, something that I've noticed on my own journey with you know, doing the Akashic Records and working with people in that capacity, and I'm sure you've probably had a similar experience of like you have to get really good at bringing up the uncomfortable pieces of what you're seeing. Like I'll never forget when I was first, you know, getting certified in my Akashic Records work and I was doing I actually did messenger readings ironically, but you know I was doing I actually did messenger readings ironically, but you know I was doing it and I was pulling some things and then somebody's mom came through and I was like oh gosh, and I was like not confident enough in myself and my skill at that point to really be 100% like yep, yep, that's her mom, her mom has passed away. Like I knew nothing about this person and I had to approach her and be like so, um, did your, did your mom pass away by chance? Because, like this is coming through and I'm not really sure what to do with it and I mean it was humbling for but I also had to get really comfortable with getting uncomfortable around, you know, bringing up things, because it was a strained relationship and it was like there was.

Speaker 2:

There were some things present in that dynamic that wanted to be addressed through that session. And, yeah, if it's all sunshine and rainbows, it's probably not the real deal, it's probably pandering, it's probably money, and we see that across even the coaching industry and things like that too. Right, yeah, you can do anything, you can achieve anything, you can manifest anything. And let me show you how and it's like the real ones ones the way you spot the real ones is their willingness to hold you in the uncomfortable and in the harder stuff to work through, and the way that they can do that with with grace as well. Right, because obviously it's.

Speaker 3:

It's vulnerable stuff yeah, absolutely, and I that's. It's when I first started getting people coming through I was like, oh God, like and some of the things they say, like I have seen it all, like abuse and neglect and trauma and like and most of it. But I always tell my clients like before my session, like I have very little control over what comes through, just trust that what comes through isn't your highest and best good. And I have left a reading, definitely feeling I knew it was a good reading, but I was like that's not what I wanted to hear. And then I actually followed the guidance and the advice and it changed my life Literally. It was like, and that's why I always trust what I get from my spirit guides and from those in spirit, because especially you know it's good when it's not what you want to hear.

Speaker 2:

Right, yeah, the medicine you need, not the medicine you want, exactly, exactly. Yeah, I love that. And so, talking about all of this from your perspective, like as a reader because obviously, like right now, we're kind of focused on, if you're looking for a reading, what to look for but from your, on the topic of ethics, from where you stand, what kinds of things do you do? Obviously, you started out with free sessions, full disclosure. I'm practicing, I'm learning, I'm trying here, and so that was a really ethical like first step into this world. But what kinds of ethics and energetic boundaries and things do you uphold now to keep your energy crystal clear and safe for the people who come to you, to keep your energy, crystal clear and safe for the people who come to you.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I would say, and I need to do. I mean I do clear my space before any reading. I make sure that, like I'm in a good and healthy head space, like, so, if you're sick, readings might not be clear and so I'll reschedule if I need to. And obviously mid reading or if I'm starting a reading and I'm just like this isn't, like it's not hitting, like I will give them an option for their money back or, you know, to reschedule because maybe just something isn't clicking at that moment. So those are things that I've put in place to like make sure that I always read ethically.

Speaker 3:

The other thing is I do have some clients that necessarily I don't really read for close friends, but I've had like kind of friends that aren't like I haven't known since childhood. I've had friends that I have read for. So what I will say and these are more of acquaintance friends I'll be like I do know this, like so I'll be in a reading and be like okay, I know this because I know you. But here's the deeper message, here's what's coming through that I know, I don't know, and so I think, being very transparent, like that and saying, like I know your dad died.

Speaker 3:

I had my friend's husband who I never talked to and didn't know much, I just knew his parents passed, I didn't even know what of, and I told my friend, like, if he ever wants a reading, don't tell me anymore. So when he came I said, hey, I know both of your parents are crossed. I can't even guarantee that they'll come, so let's see who's here and then we'll, we'll go from there. So those are kind of like the ethical standards I like uphold. And then I need to do a better job of clearing after the reading. That's like what I need to work on because I tend to carry like stuff. But so that's my biggest opportunity. But those are just some of the practices I have in place.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that, especially the distinguishing. You know. If you do know somebody, and even if it's not a friend, even if it's just a recurring client that you've read for a few times and you know, you get to know them, you get to know a little more about your life. I'm sure your readings are probably similar to most of us, where it's not just a one way thing, like people respond, and there's dialogue and there's you get to know little tidbits. So being able to say you know, I know this about you, as opposed to oh yeah, my, my psychic gifts are so good that this and this and this and this right, like having that distinction is like a very sound boundary to to have. I love that.

Speaker 2:

And so what do you find with, like, your clients when you do these readings? Like you said that they come to you oftentimes when they're in a low or a dip. What's on the other side of that? Like? Obviously you channel the information, but I'm a firm believer that we're not just here to give people information and be like here you go, it's like it serves a purpose. So what kinds of transformations have you seen just from the simple act of reading for people?

Speaker 3:

oh my gosh, it's. It's crazy. Because I attract, I can read for any type of client and I have but I specialize in women in like their thirties or early forties or early to mid forties that are struggling to find call in love and relationships, struggling with emotionally unavailable men. And that typically is because I have my own experience in that, so I can better help them because I've been there, done that and I've had the same spiritual experiences. So I'll never forget.

Speaker 3:

I had a reading and I was looking at myself four years ago and she was she's four years younger than me and I said you know, your grandmother is coming through and she wants to talk about this guy with a penis name and she's just telling you to like this, this, this, like stop wasting your time. Like he's not going to change. And then, like I let I lost sleep. I felt, cause I'm typically very careful with how I deliver messages, but she just came through and it was almost like I couldn't even control how direct I was and I typically don't do this, but I followed up and I said, hey, look like I'm sorry. The messages were very direct and I just wanted to check in. Are you like, how are you doing, are you okay? Um, and she said you changed my life and we've been in contact.

Speaker 3:

She's had a few other readings but just seeing how far she's grown and she doesn't. She recognizes toxic behavior in men and she recognizes what she needs to work on. And just seeing her doing the work and taking her advice or taking spirit's advice Cause it's not mine, it's their advice I'm just the channel. And seeing her grow is such a beautiful thing. And then on the opposite end of that spectrum, like seeing people wake up to the fact that we're just not dust when we die, is that's some of the most beautiful transformation. Like even my friend's husband, like he had been holding onto that death for nine to 10 years and you know, as a logical male brained, he you know didn't really know

Speaker 3:

about this stuff, but he let nine to 10 years of weight on his shoulders and guilt. One reading cured someone. That's not like that's never going to happen, right, but just to see people like healing, to see them growing, to see them get better. And I just see so many women, just like the client I described before, just come back to me and they're like their energy is so much lighter and they've had beautiful moments of their life of attracting a job or money or that man and it's just amazing that you got to be a part of that process and it's so beautiful and rewarding work and I just I love every second of it yeah, I love that so much and I mean it's obviously honorable to not be like yeah, I cured somebody.

Speaker 2:

blah, blah, like, because claiming to to be the solution for anybody is also unethical. Um, but I do think that there's great power in the liberation that we can gift people when we are dropped into our gifts. And you know, telling it like it is I'm sure you've seen it with clients, I've seen it with more so friends, because my work doesn't center on relationships. But you know friends that have come to me, and just the energy difference when you're the only one to tell somebody something like it is, difference when you're the only one to tell somebody something like it is, or like you see it or intuit it. Right, it's like when you give somebody that like, that's a gift that they can then take and use to empower themselves in ways that they hadn't previously, right, right. So I mean that on its own is like maybe, deep down, they knew, they knew something was wrong.

Speaker 2:

You know, I had a friend who was engaged to somebody, ready to kind of get married, and I think, deep down, something she knew something was wrong Because, again, she's insanely intuitive too. But when you're in your stuff and everyone else is like, oh, they're engaged, it's serious. I don't want to step on toes, I don't want to tell her what I think, because it's her life and I just want her to be happy and, um, you know, so, coming from a place, especially when you're in your channel of like this, isn't it? And what people can then take and transmit with that because you're just validating what they already knew and maybe weren't looking at is so important.

Speaker 3:

I mean, that's such a beautiful point with when we talk about ethics, because a good reading and whether you do Akashic records or Reiki or whatever you do, a good reading should lead you with clarity, guidance and next steps. It should never be definitive. This is going to happen. This is going to happen because your future is not set in stone, and a reader who tells you that is again I would, I would caution you to listen to that advice Now. Do I see babies that are going to come here, whether you like it or not? Yes, I have. I see babies that are going to come here, whether you like it or not. Yes, I have, but it's you know how they come can be, you know, and we can use our free will choices to delay things, right, but I think there are certain events and I'm sure you're more the expert on Akashic records but some events are bound to happen. But your life you're not meant to. There's multiple soulmates out there, multiple partners you can be with. There are multiple ways to have children.

Speaker 3:

Like you know, it's your future is not set in stone, and so I think sometimes, when people are deep in their grief, especially someone craving like a breakup in particular, they just want an answer Is he going to come back, yes or no, yes or no, yes? And I'm like, well, I'm like do you want him? Let's start with. Do we want this to come back? Right, like, let's start with that. And the other thing is people have their own free will. So sometimes when they ask you about relationships, even if it's not romantic, it's that other person has free will. So we have to keep that in mind too. So I think it's like a beautiful sentiment of like we're just validating what either they're already been guided to do, they just too emotionally tied to it to be able to clear it, see it clearly, and we just give them the extra validation, or it's just, again, mere guidance extra validation or it's just again mere guidance?

Speaker 2:

yeah, for sure, and the the free will thing is such a an important, especially when you're working in relationships, and I know so many psychics that like will not touch relationships with a 10-foot pole, because there is the factor of the other person's free will. And I mean I've seen it in like manifestation, facebook groups of how do I manifest my ex back and like different things like that, and it's like that gripping and controlling. I can see your response like oh, give me a break.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I feel the same way again. People are vulnerable. This is no judgment against them, but being able to, like, zoom out and see that bigger picture of like maybe this person fell out of your life for a reason or you know, like things, things don't work out, things don't transpire, timing doesn't line up, like all of these things, and same like you said with the akashic records, like that is sort of the roadmap of different, like soulmate encounters, where you clear the karma and then it's time to separate, it's time to go your own ways. It's like all that a soulmate is is somebody who had some deep karma with you that needed to be resolved and some stay for a lifetime and some don't, and it's all part of this karmic agreement we have with other souls to move through life and evolve as individuals. It's not about this. Like codependent, like clingy oh my gosh, I found my person. Now I have to keep them forever type of energy.

Speaker 3:

And I love that. And I have to say this to all the ladies listening that I've asked. I've asked these questions, I've seen these things about how to get your ex back and look, this is what I will say no, do not shame yourself, do not blame yourself. We've all been there. I have been there, but I've learned that you, you should never focus on a specific person when you're trying to manifest or draw on a relationship, because if you do, you are blocking so many potentially better actually more than likely better potential partners for you. So what I always suggest is manifest or think about the qualities you want in someone and how you want to feel when you are with that person. And I can tell you this because I thought it was my twin flame met crazy and like in love. I was like it has to be him, it has to be him, it has to be him. How do I get him back? Him, him, him. And let me tell you this he did come back, he did want to propose, he did want the whole.

Speaker 3:

I had healed myself so much and I was like, oh, this is not how I want to feel in a relationship, this is not the person I want. So, and I wasted three years trying to get this to be here and when it came and showed up, thank goodness my spirit guides intervene and I was so far on my healing journey that I didn't even want him anymore. And I know that seems impossible. Maybe for somebody listening now that could be like, well, that's impossible. It's always going to be him. I promise you'll get there, because if somebody is being inconsistent, hot and cold, they're not sure about you. Well, girlfriend, they're probably not a good fit for you. But, um, yeah, so for like again for anyone listening, if you have somebody that's telling you you can get your ex back by doing a curse or a spell or again, why would you want somebody you had to manipulate control to be with you?

Speaker 2:

there's someone way better out there for you that you don't have to do all that with yeah, absolutely well, and there's so many layers to relationships that we can that we could touch on um, but yeah, the biggest thing is, like the belief that there is somebody out there that the universe will put in your path if you stay open to it.

Speaker 2:

That has all of the things that you see in this other person and then some, and you know, minus the narcissism, minus the toxic qualities, minus, um, you know, even in some cases, the, the crazy potential mother-in-law that absolutely hates your guts and causes a bunch of stress in your life. You know there's these, these things that are imperfect and I'm not saying to just like, quit and walk away from a relationship that you're in, necessarily, but if you've already parted ways, whether that was on your own volition or their volition, it's, it's an invitation to like, really look at, like, what attributes was I really attracted to and how did I feel? You know there was that, that spark, that magnetism that you know underlying chemistry, not to be mistaken, for trauma bonding, which is again a whole other topic with relationships, but it really is possible to find someone who brings all of that to the table and things you didn't know you needed to. That feels so good and safe and soothing, and you know.

Speaker 3:

Right and the questions I always tell people that you should ask and I still ask them like, and I'm more so. Do it out of curiosity and like fun now, um, but I always suggest asking what, what do you see for me in relationships? What's the advice for me to attract a partner that I want from spirit? What is my? I'm currently talking to so-and-so like. What's the advice there? Like and the, and make sure you're open to what you're going to get, because sometimes what we get isn't always what we want to hear. Like and like. I've seen it all kinds of ways where they asked me about a specific relationship or a situation ship they were in, and I have actually had it where I'm like this guy's a great guy. You're uncomfortable because you're not used to this, and sometimes the advice is to study Right and some, but most of the time, unfortunately, it's very much like don't see them changing, like, be clearer on what you want.