Return to Radiance with Danielle Venables

082. Creating Harmony in an Extremist World: Choosing Love & Embodying Peace on the Planet

August 24, 2024 • Danielle Venables • Episode 82

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Can the rise of political divisions and social media conflicts be traced back to the way our brains naturally categorize information? Discover how these unconscious tendencies can lead to harmful black-and-white thinking, fostering an environment ripe for extremism. Join us as we unpack the subtle ways this divisive mindset seeps into our daily lives and learn how to recognize and counteract its influence. We'll reflect on historical and contemporary examples, shedding light on how extremism has intensified over the past few years and what we can do to mitigate its impact.

In this episode of Return to Radiance, we explore the significant role of emotional intelligence, discernment, and understanding diverse perspectives in combating extremism. Learn how standing in your own integrity and speaking from a place of abundance and love can foster inner peace and collective unity. We also delve into the psychological effects of crowd behavior and the human desire for group acceptance, which can diminish our intellectual and emotional capacities. By nurturing tolerance, grace, and curiosity, we can bridge divides and create a more harmonious and connected world. Tune in for a conversation that's crucial for our times, promoting tolerance and collective harmony.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Return to Radiance, the podcast with one core purpose to remind you of your innate power and essence. I'm your host, danielle Venables, an Akashic guide and soul coach, here to activate, heal and empower the new wave of soulful CEOs to become radically aligned and unapologetic. In these episodes, we will be diving into all things mystic, soul level transformation, the new paradigm of leadership, business, energetics, awakening, healing and more, as well as holding potent conversations around connecting deeply to your personal power and owning your truth. If you are here for it all, be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. While I'm confident the discussions in this podcast have the power to change your life, these episodes are for information only and are in no way a substitute for individual medical, legal or mental health advice.

Speaker 2:

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Return to Radiance podcast. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome. If you are a repeat listener, a loyal listener, welcome back. Today's topic that I want to discuss is something that is very alive in the collective right now, and that is the theme of extremism. Now, extremism is something that has been present in our collective more and more over the years, especially, I would say, over the last four or five years. It's been getting not even gradually worse, it's been getting extremely worse, noticeably worse year over year and obviously, with the American election in the upcoming months, as well as just general division and animosity that we are seeing online, I really feel like it's important to speak to this topic, um, not only as it occurs in the collective. I will start with how we're seeing it in the collective and the dysregulation that it's creating in the collective but at the same time, it's also important to look at where that extremism is actually entering your own psyche, entering your own field, the way that you do things, the way that you operate in your internal templates, because that is a behavior that is so unconscious. It is something that naturally will happen if you are immersed in the collective energy. You absorb it subconsciously, right, and it starts to permeate who you are and the way that you show up. So I really want to use this episode to illuminate where that may be happening, so that you can come back into integrity with yourself, so that you can come back into a space of harmony in your life, not only in the way that you interact with the collective, but the way that you interact with life as a whole, whether that's your approach to business, whether that's your approach to motherhood and parenting, or finances or relationships. This reactivity is going to be impacting multiple facets of your life. So I want to start off by saying that the extremism as a whole, if you are a highly sensitive being, if you are somebody who does tend to gravitate towards higher frequencies, does tend to want everybody to put down their weapons and stop fighting and get along, um, and just has a vision for more harmony as a collective, you know this extreme polarization that we're seeing in the world is very painful, and so I just want to take a moment to like acknowledge you and acknowledge how even traumatic some of this division has been for you, because it really it is like it's. It's hard to witness. It's hard to watch. It's, you know, when you have that, that deeper vision for yourself, that deeper vision for the collective, you feel love, you feel peace, and then you're not seeing that reflected in the external world. You're watching people suffer, in part by their own devices, but in part by the culture that is manufactured to keep us divided, to keep us separated and at odds with each other.

Speaker 2:

You know, there was a point I was listening to somebody speak, who's's you know been alive for probably 20, 30 years longer than me, and he was saying like the division was not that bad before. It's like you could sit down if you had opposing political views, if you had opposing religious views. You could still sit down and have a conversation with somebody without being crazy reactive, without you know, you show up to a dinner party and the host then declares if you feel this way about this topic, get the fuck out of my house. You know, like that wasn't happening and we see that all the time on social media. It's become something that has been so normalized. So it's like, if you believe this or if you support that, if you're a Trump supporter, if you're a Democrat and I'm not even American, I'm just speaking to, like the themes that are present right now and the things that I'm seeing, but, um, you know, like, there's this absurd like if you don't agree with this, if you don't agree with my stance on this, then delete yourself, get out of my life, get out of my world. And that never used to exist. We used to be able to hold space for different opinions within the same collectives, within the same spaces, without that feeling so threatening that we need to tell somebody to leave.

Speaker 2:

So I'm saying this to bring attention to where you are being intolerant to the other side, because when you're being intolerant to quote, unquote, the other side what you are doing is you are engaging in extremism. You are buying into the division, the narrative, the labels that, um, the media, the powers that be are placing on their enemy and you're internalizing that and you are then believing that to be true. And think about it no matter what side of anything that you fall on, what labels do you have for the other side, and are those really yours? Do they really ring true for you? It's one of those things that, like when you put a label on something, all of a sudden you feel like you know them and the reality is you don't.

Speaker 2:

You don't know somebody's reason for supporting a certain political party. You don't know somebody's reason for supporting a certain political party. You don't know somebody's reason for, you know, wanting a certain policy or being against a certain policy. You don't know somebody's reason for believing in the religion that they believe in or adopting the practices that they adopt, and so it's critical to not internalize the labels that you have heard other people use, and I'm gonna use Trump supporters as an example, because it is such an easy example to speak to. It's like when you find out that someone is a Trump supporter, if you are not a Trump supporter, it's easy to immediately jump to they're a misogynist, they are a homophobe, they are a transphobe. You know like? How many other labels can you think of when you think of a Trump supporter? They are super radical, they are hateful, they are anti-woman, like.

Speaker 2:

All of these things tend to come with the label of a Trump supporter, because the media has done a very good job of marrying those two ideas. Trump supporter equals this and, with enough repetition, it has actually brainwashed people into believing that if you are a Trump supporter, you are automatically all of these things. So, all of a sudden, you take somebody that you have maybe been friends with, maybe close friends, maybe just an acquaintance, but somebody that you respected, that you felt like overall. You know you guys were on a similar wavelength, maybe you didn't agree on everything, but you know they were, they were good, you had a good feeling from them. Um, and all of a sudden you find out that they're a trump supporter and immediately you're like, oh, this person isn't who I thought they were, but they're exactly who they have been all along. They're the same person, but because now, all of a sudden, they're affiliated with something that you in your mind, think is inherently bad because of manufactured extremism, now you're, you're completely relabeling them. You're you're labeling them by the pre-prescribed labels, as opposed to knowing the person as a person and being a Trump supporter being one facet of this. This person right?

Speaker 2:

So that's the danger of extremism is it automatically closes the door, it automatically closes your mind, and this is something that, psychologically, we are being manipulated to do, and that's the important part to remember is it's not actually true, that's just the the way that, collectively, we have been manipulated to be divided. So you really the invitation here is to really pay attention to what labels you have placed on certain groups of people and to dismantle that and take things on a case by case basis. And to dismantle that and take things on a case-by-case basis. Now, how does this impact? You know, I wanted to bring this to your attention because I want harmony in the collective and I know that if you're here, it is more than likely that you do too. You want peace, you want harmony, you want people to get along even if they have differences, and that starts with becoming self-aware. That starts with becoming aware of where we are playing into the division, of where we are stereotyping somebody based on a label that they were given Right, um, but now how does this play into your actual life? So, taking it away from being like an interpersonal thing and coming into a space of how is this impacting how you show up in your life internally? How does this impact your internal templates? And this is where there's no escaping it. You know, like the external division division, you could curate your life, your Facebook and Instagram feeds and everything to agree with you, so that you never get threatened with with the controversy of the other side and everybody thinks the same and there's like that mob mentality like. You can do that, so you can ignore that division to a degree externally, but when it leaches into your consciousness, which is what is happening, um, that's where you start to have issues, that's where you start to take on extremism within your business, within your relationships. And it's really this, like other complex of um. You know, I'm trying to think of an example off the cuff. I probably should have like written down some examples so they were more accessible. But, um, for example, in your relationship actually I love relationships for this because they are amazing mirrors.

Speaker 2:

But how many of you have said that a partner or an ex is a narcissist? There are, I think all of us have certain narcissistic tendencies, especially when it's being labeled by another person. You know, you're always going to see something in another person based on your own perception. So if you are hyper aware of what the textbook narcissistic tendencies are and, say, somebody ticks off two of the boxes and all of a sudden you are believing that, oh my God, my partner is a narcissist because he ticks these boxes, that's extremism, you know. And I'm not. I'm not discrediting those of you who have been in relationships with actual narcissists, but it's something that's so like on our radar. And now, all of a sudden, we're judging people based on this set of standards are. And now, all of a sudden, we're judging people based on this set of standards. And I do want to say that you know, we all have moments where we act narcissistic.

Speaker 2:

That is part of being human, that is part of having an ego, and you do not have to be a narcissist to display a narcissistic behavior here or there. It's also not something that you need to judge yourself for. It's something to be aware of, it's something to work on, but it's not something that you need to judge and berate yourself for. So this could be the way that you label somebody else, or this could be. You get into an argument with your partner. You're not super proud of the way that you handled it, and then you're beating yourself up because oh my God, I'm such a narcissist or that was so. Beating yourself up because, oh my god, I'm such a narcissist or that was so narcissistic of me. That is extremism. You can say that was not my proudest moment, that's not how I want to show up as a loving partner, or that's not how I want to be treated in my relationship.

Speaker 2:

If you're on the receiving end of it, right, but it doesn't automatically make somebody a narcissist. And what happens is, if you then start to believe I am a narcissist or they are a narcissist, that's going to impact how you see them as a whole, that's going to impact the way that you see them as people, which is then going to perpetuate the issue, right? It's going to make it louder and louder and louder, because you're already carrying the belief of this person is a narcissist. So then your brain does its brain thing, its subconscious thing, and it starts to look for more evidence to prove your point. Slippery slope. If somebody is not actually, you know, an emotionally dangerous narcissistic person, um, same with yourself, that can lead into this slippery slope of being overly critical of yourself, of being overly hard on yourself, of feeling like you're unworthy of healthy, um, beautiful love because you believe that you're a narcissist, because you've labeled yourself that way, and now your brain is looking for that evidence. That is extremism and that is kind of what I'm warning you against.

Speaker 2:

We also see extremism a lot in the online, like coaching industry, things like that, um, where people are making these statements right, you're consuming a coach's content and they say something like if you're not making 50K months, you're doing something wrong or there's something wrong with you, um. Or if you're not investing this much in yourself, then you're not serious about your business. Or if you're not making this much money in your business, then it's a hobby, not a business. And these are also extremist thoughts, right? Who defines what a business is? Who defines what's working and what's not? You, as the CEO, have to be the owner, you have to be the leader, and that includes your results.

Speaker 2:

Now, if, if somebody else is putting out these extremist or like vague broad stroke type of statements and you're buying into them and you're believing them, that's a problem, and even unconsciously it starts to. If you keep consuming those people's content, it will start to erode, it will start to sink into your subconscious mind and it'll start to impact the way that you see yourself. But what if you are the one perpetuating that extremism? Do you have these ideas where it's like, oh, gotta be polarizing? And then you say something like that without thinking about the harm that that could cause, about thinking about the impact, um, that that could have on somebody?

Speaker 2:

So it's important, as leaders, that we stand in our own integrity, that we filter things through the lens of, like, how is this going to land? And am I saying this most importantly, am I saying this from a place of abundance and love and calling someone forward into their power, or am I saying it as a call out to get them to work with me? And it's something that we come by so honestly these days because it's everywhere, right, it's so easy to be extreme, it's so easy to fall into that line of thinking because A our brain loves labels. It simplifies our thought process. If we can label something, we understand it without having to get to know it, without having to be curious about it, without having to do anything. Right, like it's just an automatic process of oh you're this, so that means this, this, this, this and this. We don't have to do any research. Um, so our brain loves that.

Speaker 2:

And it also just simplifies things. It put things, it puts things in a box that are easy to conceptualize and you don't have to question it anymore, you don't have to live with any form of uncertainty about anything, you don't have to think about the nuance or think about the possibilities that something isn't black or white. It just allows you to simplify and streamline the way that you think, and our brain loves that, on top of it being modeled everywhere, right, like everywhere you go, um, somebody is being labeled, somebody is being, um, you know, stereotyped and falsely. Um, you know, stereotyped and falsely. Um, sort of falsely accused of being a certain way. That may or may not be a hundred percent true. So that's why we like extremes, because they're easy to understand, they're, they're easy to just look at, understand without a second thought. Place it in that category, um, and that's not the path forward to evolution, that is not the path forward. Um, as a collective, that's not the path forward to, uh, harmony both in the collective as well as harmony as individuals.

Speaker 2:

Right, when we have this all or nothing mindset, when we have this, this or that, with no room for the in-between, no room for the gray area, we start to categorize everything that way and that can unconsciously start to take over and really create guilt, shame, misalignment, because oftentimes we're not black or white, we're somewhere in the middle. So it's very easy to become misaligned if you go too extreme into something you know. And then there's also the part of us like crowd psychology, where we want to be a part of the group, we want to fit in and that's also a basic human need that we all come by, honestly, like that's the way that our brains are wired. That was what we needed for survival. It still is, to a degree, like what we need for survival is like love and acceptance, and so it's really easy to fall into the like mob mentality.

Speaker 2:

And Gustave Le Bon, who wrote it, was early sociology I believe that he worked in and he wrote books on crowd psychology and one of the the things that he says is that when you get a group of people together and they engage in this like mob mentality, the like IQ of those people and probably the EQ as well, I would argue, of these people gets reduced to that of the lowest, like least intelligent one in the group. Where, when we are all free thinking, when we are all thinking for ourselves, when we are all using discernment and exploring those gray areas and really tuned into, does that feel true for me? Or is that not true? Like, if we're not so quick to to jump on that extremist bandwagon and we're able to kind of sit with the things that we want to judge, um, we're using our own intellect, we're using our own logic, we're using our own emotional intelligence and there's power in that and there's also a lack of reactivity in that. Again, the default state categorize and react when, when you're taking time to be discerning and to really feel into what is truth and what is, you know, an attempt at a stereotype or you know a radical label that probably isn't even your own, you have the opportunity to sit with it and to respond, and that makes a huge difference in terms of the way that you interact with life as a whole and how reactive you are as a person versus how much you sit in contemplation and see the bigger picture and choose to respond from an emotionally intelligent place. So there's a lot of different factors that sort of go into this conversation. As you can tell, it's a multifaceted conversation and the way that it impacts your inner harmony is it can be jarring right.

Speaker 2:

Engaging in extremism is jarring, it is exhausting, it will fry your nervous system because it's so reactive, it's so quick, on top of, you know, ruining your relationships, creating, uh, you know, either harsh self-criticism or harsh criticism of others. Usually both, it's usually both. Um, you know like there's no positive to being extremist, there's no positive to stereotyping people and not giving people the benefit of the benefit of the doubt, and hearing them out and hearing their reasonings, um, and so it's important that we come together as humans, as conscious humans. It is so important that we come together that we hear one another, um, because it's a crazy world out there and it's not one that I feel good being a part of. So all of that to say, give your neighbor some grace, um, if you find yourself wanting to jump to conclusions, ask questions, use a beginner's mind, get curious, find the common threads, even if you disagree with somebody.

Speaker 2:

Find the common threads you. You disagree with somebody. Find the common threads. You know, often with politics, two people will want the same thing, but they'll just see two different paths to get there. Find those common threads, find those things, bring the humanity back into alternating points of view, or alternative points of view, um, and just lead with love. That's really the invitation here is lead with love. So that's what I've got for you today. I just want to thank you again for being here, for listening to my rants, my voice, um, I appreciate every single one of you in the community, as always, and I will see you in the next episode. Bye for now.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for tuning in. If you enjoyed this podcast, it would mean the world if you'd take a moment to download a couple episodes and rate the show to help it reach more like-minded leaders. If you loved today's discussion and decide to share it, be sure to tag me on Instagram at Radiant Soul Coach to help expand the ripple effect of this podcast.